133lbs

dec goal: 125

i weighed this morning and i'm 129lbs which is 3 lbs down from what i weighed last. that's not a big difference.. but atleast i'm making progress! have a good day

i'm baaaaaaack!:) been eating a can of soup a day or a packet of oatmeal for bout 2 weeks now and i'm down about 8 pounds:)

my sister pisses me off so much.. sometimes i just wish i had a different one. all  she ever does is try to embarrass me. last year when i got into the habit of eating a lot less, i use to keep a paper journal, not an online one. i mean i really didnt think anyone in my family would be disrespectful and read it if they found it. but i still put it away. my sister is 18 now, im 16. anyway i went off to camp & i had lost around 20lbs and my mom decided to redo my room as a surprise.. when i came back i got in the car and she says "good Lord did you eat at all this week you're so skinny" and i was suspicious that she might know.. so i get  home and my journals lyin there out in the open, my sister had read it and told my mom. of course i was pissed.. but i thought okay she mightve done to make sure i was okay. then i had a friend over a few nights later & my sister comes in my room and we're all talking and my sisters just like "you know what skarlet did? i found her journal where she writes what she eats-" and i just went crazy.. i was like "get out of my room youre such a bitch" im sorry i dont want all my damn friends thinking im a freak. word gets around ya know.. & to this day she still says i dont eat infront of people, or just anything to bring me down..

shes done a lot more to me but what pissed me off tonight was i was commenting this guy on facebook & she butts in our damn conversation. she just starts saying all kinds of stuff. and i updated my status "skarlet is going to freee to death" and he goes "can i have your computer" then my bitch ass sister is like "you wouldnt want it trust me.. its a piece of shit." wtf dude it just made me mad..  i deleted her comment and her as my friend. i mean shes just rude. and my computer is NOT a piece of shit. its an Acer Laptop that i got for christmas a year ago. its in perfectly fine condition.. Dude just go off to fucking college and leave me the hell alone.. i get along with my little brother so much better.. hes like my bestfriend, he's 12. he tells me im beautiful and skinny & i talk to him about my guy problems. lol. he trusts me with his little girlfriend problems, so i trust him. when he got his first kiss my older sister saw it & she told me about it and i was like awh. and then at the dinner table she just bust out "yeah he got his first kiss tonight he looked so stupid doing it too" my mom bitched at her, she deserved it. i had no intentions telling my mom he had his kiss..thats his business, and i DEF would not have made fun of it, in front of him. she's just a bitch.

im done now haha. no one reads this anyway it just feels good to get off my chest!

the past few days have been awful, but yet amazing. ive been hanging out with a new friend, farrah, and weve been just having so much fun. there was a boy in my life, michael, we've been 'talking' for about 5 months now. but were never getting anywhere it seems & i feel like he uses me.. but he is SO sweet its crazy. he litterally had sex with one of my good friends(ex friend now) a few weeks ago & i was pissssed. but i forgave him. why? i wish i knew. its like he controls my mind. he can convince me anything because hes so sweet. and all my life ive been waiting for the perfect boy to come around, and i swore i found him. but that deffinatly wasnt the first or last thing hes done to me. he's blown me off a few time, and hes a big pot head.. now, i dont smoke pot but idc if people do, they can do what they want. but when we hung out ALL he wanted to do was "chill" & chill = getting high on his couch. im sorry, but thats just not fun for me.. and yet, i didnt care.. just as long as i was with him, cause i loved being with him when he was nice. one night i was really drunk and he came over then a few hours later we went back to his house & he was being real sweet. i didnt have any shoes so he carried me in, and i had on his hoodie. we got in his bed and just cuddled and he was SOBER, not high or anything, but i was still drunk. but i was still enjoying his soberness. it was almost a perfect night. he kept telling me how i should sleep cause i looked so tired, but i didnt want to sleep i wanted to talk to him. so we talked about so much. and then he kissed me, and that was our first kiss together. and it couldnt have been any better! what im trying to say here is he couldve tried to have sex with me.. he didnt. not at all. he didnt ask, he didnt mention it. and it made me so happy. i woke up the next morning and we laid in bed for hours then i left he didnt want me to. there are other cute stories, not many but there are. the whole time we were talking, he was having sex with this other girl that i know of. it was kinda like, he liked me, but he liked sex too.. so since i wasnt giving him sex, he was getting it from another girl.. he really has put me through so much. but i couldve just left completely and been done with him so it is partly my fault i let him do it to me. so anyway after he had sex with one of my friends, we started being okay again, and then we were talking again because he apologized, over and over, and i fell for it. we hung out and it was great! then 3 days went by..we didnt talk. then i was like okay i just REALLY need to stop this now, so i completely forgot about him.. he'd call me, id ignore it. and i couldve cared less. soo then the other night he called me.. i was with my friend and we were pilled out & i answered it like a dumb ass then he asked us to hangout & i was like okay ill call u when i leave my house. so me and my friend start pullin out my driveway & i called and i was like 'hey im on my way' and he was like 'uh..can we hangout tmrw' here we go again. i just lost it, i was like im tired of your shit! cause i knew why he wanted to wait, he was prolly havin another girl over.. thats just how he is.  and we started texting and i was sayin how i was done with him and all this crap. & then we didnt talk til last night, he called me and me and my friend were at the gym.. and he was like hey wanna hangout? and i was like im at the gym ill call u when im done & he was like okay. and i never called him back. and he called my phone 4 times and i ignored them all. then today about 2 hours ago he called me & i attempted to ignore it but i was curious as to what he wanted so i answered:

me:"hello?"
him:"hey"
me:"..hey"
him:"what are you doing?"
me:"im layin in bed"
him:"at 5?!"
me:"yeah i dont feel good"
him:"oh well come to dons"
me:"i dont feel good"
him:"please just come to dons. oh yeah, you ditched me last night"
me:"so you'll get over it"
him:"what?"
me:"i said, you'll get over it"
him:"damnnn that was mean"
me:"so.. you're mean"
him:"not anymore"
me:"yeah..okay"
him:"im not"
*silenceeeee*
me:"ill talk to you later"
*click*



but thats pretty much it. ive learned my lesson as much as i enjoyed his sweet side hes not worth it i guess..

im gettin in the shower i plan on postin thinspo when im out. peaceee.

i went back to the gym tonight and burned 430 calories woo. i'm starving as i type. lol. im layin in my bed though and i dont plan on moving. im gonna post thinspo tmrw morning. much love wandering eyes!

today i'm feeling a little shitty. last night i worked out for two hours & burned everything i ate, then i stayed up all night & went to the gym again at 5:30 til 7 & b i still plan on going to the gym later today. i might weigh tmrw.. i havent decided yet. maybe i shouldnt though.. im on my period, that'd be discouraging huh? anyway heres some thinspo if it works this time(i still haven't got the hang of this haha) -skarlet


this proably took me longer than it should, but i did it! i took my time:) hopefully tmrw i can have more on my next post:))

Hi to anyone who is taking there time to this. My name is Skarlet and this is intended to be my thinspo site to help be pass my wasted time over this boring time. i look at so many girls' thinspo sites often so i figured i'd make my own. Anyway, if it sucks, i'm truly sorry because i'd like for it to be somewhat decent.. anyway since oct 2007 ive been doing everything possible to lose weight. i'm 5'7" , I hit my lowest weight: 120 after being 145 pounds. then i went through a depression that im still going through, i gained it all back plus some more. I currently THINK im at 138. ive been trying so hard.. but i havent weighed in a few weeks.. & i dont plan to any time soon. anyway, my stomachs getting flatter.. amazing! haha. i have this weird pooch thing but its slowly going away.. i do so many ab work out though. theres just like 5 layers of fat hanging on to my stomach for dear life. my thighs piss me off too.. its my inner thighs like the very top of them touch and it drives me insane. i never use to hate my arms.. but now they seems like the more i work them out.. the flabbier they get? crazy huh.. idk why, but i just decided to let the wonderful eyes of whoever is looking at my page know what parts about me i hate. :P anyway i'm going to go surf the web to make my page look pretty:)